He looked right at me. I remembered that he had been standing in the same spot for several days now, even when it was raining and when one of the school cooks had thrown a plate of moldy cheese at him when she was angrily chasing a big, brown dog that was saying “Scooby-doobee-doo!”
He looked real shabby, too, and had a black hood up to try to hide his face. He ran up and gave me a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
“DON’T PLAY THIS!!!” He said dramatically, running off in another direction for a few feet before collapsing.
“Awesome!” I said. I hadn’t seen a Nintendo 64 cartridge in ages.
Later on when the bum’s body was covered up and being placed on a stretcher, I decided to walk home. I didn’t have a Nintendo 64, but while walking, I saw one in a garbage can in an alley. It had some eggshells and blood on it, but I wiped it off.
At home, my parents came home for just a few minutes before leaving again. They were super-pale and were missing their noses, mouths, and eyes, I think. They told me they had to do something in Spain for while or something. I don't know... I never really look at them.
I was happy the console started up. The cartridge was green with something written in blood covered ink, “DON’T PLAY THIS GAME!”
“Never heard of it...” I thought to myself.
The second I put the cartridge in, sparks, green stuff and blood came flying from the Nintendo 64. Just a glitch, I thought. The TV floated off its stand and started flying in a clockwise motion. That had never happened to me before, and I started to think that the cartridge added features to the console.
A pink face appeared on the screen. It was hyper-ultra-realistic, I mean photo-quality, and it was of someone I read about in newspapers. They had said, “BEWARE EVIL PATRIXX! HIS REIGN IS NIGH!” and it showed Evil Patrixxx in front of pictures of flames. I didn’t think anything of it until now.
A sound came from the TV, “BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYOUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZ” and the pink, terrifying face started materializing in front of the screen. Just a head was floating, and it was a smilling Evil Patrixxx. In horror, I picked up a pillow and hugged it. To my horror, blood and pasta started oozing from it, so I threw it on the ground and picked up a toy instead. The toy had blood from the pillow, so I threw it on the ground also.
“I WILL X YOU OUT!” Yelled Evil Patrixxx. I wanted to run away, but I was lazy. His head formed a body under it, and he flew at me. The floating shoe from earlier in the day tried to stop him, but Evil Patrixxx swatted it away. The shoe was thrown into the corner of a desk and was mortally injured. A large hole opened up along its rim, and blood rushed out of it. In pain, it continued to protect me and vainly threw itself at Evil Patrixxx. It was bounced off by an EVIL SHIELD this time, and hit the ground, crushed. Tears welled up in my eyes. I hadn’t even gotten to know Shoe’s name.
Right when Evil Patrixxx reached me, I was expecting to die but instead was transported to a pixelated world. In the side of the world was a TV screen, and I could see my room through it. I was in the game!
“Shoot,” I said sadly.
There was lots of pixelated blood everywhere, some was even realistic. The sky was red, and so was the stuff covered in blood. After an extended silence of standing around, doing nothing, I screamed as loudly as I could.
The world’s red sky had large, transparent flower shapes for some reason, and no grass seemed to be growing anywhere. Instead, seaweed and seashells were in abundance. I was standing on a street at night under lamplights, and there seemed to be a lot of strange houses made out of things. In the distance I could see a large pineapple with windows.
“Ha ha ha!” I heard a high-pitched laugh in the distance. I also heard the sound of an engine.
Driving through the blood was a car shaped like a hamburger, and it was coming at me. I ran out of its way just in time to see a yellow sponge-man and star-fish man laughing like crazy while driving this giant hamburger. As they hit a mailbox on the side of the road, laughing, the car lost bits and pieces of its hamburger side. Even a bite appeared!
The sight was the most god-awful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Fear from the darkest regions of my soul wound up and coiled around my mind entirely. That laughing sponge and starfish man will haunt me forever. I felt like I was going insane!
I started running in circles, screaming.
Evil Patrixxx came up from the direction of the giant pineapple, screaming out, “YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE!!”
I screamed and ran to the giant screen showing my room, and somehow ended up there. I turned off my TV, but it wouldn’t! I unplugged it, but it stayed on! I smashed the screen with a hammer, yet the image was still there! I turned off the Nintendo 64, and that worked, so I ran out my room and down the stairs to escape my house!
Evil Patrixxx was there! He said, “Thank you for releasing me! Now the world is DOOMED!”
He began eating all the furniture in my house while I cried and ran outside. The sky was red and there was written in red paint, “The end is nigh! NIIIIIIIIGHGGGGGGGGGHH!” It also said, “Bob, you owe me 5 dollars,” in small writing.
People were running in terror, and I saw the bum who gave me the game run up to me.
“I thought you were dead!” I yelled.
“I was!” He said. “You released Evil Patrixxx, didn’t you?”
He ran into my house and screamed loudly, “NOOO!” as a loud “Bang!” filled the air, along with a sickening crushing and eating noise.
“I wonder if he’s okay,” I thought.
I ran inside and saw him in front of the refrigerator, holding an empty box of doughnuts.
“No! They’re all gone!” He cried, as Evil Patrixxx was eating the dining room furniture in the other room.
I yelled at the guy, “How do we get rid of Evil Patrixxx?!”
“He’ll never die!” said the guy. “Instead, we need to send him back to where he came from.”
The guy finally took down the hood he had on, revealing himself to be... A bum! Or just a really shaggy person. No… Shaggy from Scooby-doo-doo!
“We need to put him back in the game,” He said. “Where’s that game then?”
I was glad I didn’t destroy the game! I ran upstairs and heard music from upstairs, saying, “Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world some day—you got blood on your face, just a small taste, for when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains.” I reached my room and took out the bloody cartridge from the old console. Music was coming from the console, saying, “HE WILL, HE WILL… EAT YOU! EAT YOU!”
I ran downstairs and threw the cartridge at Evil Patrixxx’ head. It just bounced off.
“Oh!” Said Evil Patrixxx, a look of surprise covering his face as he lifted his head from the toilet seat he had been eating. “Slendy had invited me to dinner!”
He turned around and said something like, “Blue sca-doo, we can too!” and jumped into the game cartridge.
“Well, that’s the end of that,” I said.
Shaggy took the cartridge and gave it to me.
“We’ll, time to get back to my pals!” He said.
“Hey, why’d you die?”
“I was waiting for Scooby to get out of the school, but he took days, you know? I started freezing to death, man!”
He ran out while I looked at the cartridge, and checked out its condition.
“Ebay!"
The End
After Shaggy left, I heard the song from the console play upstairs just one more time…
"Buddy better hide, hear that big noise
Something deadly pink, Evill Patrixxx is coming your way
He broke into your place
In a big rage
Kickin’ your can all over the place
Singin’
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
Buddy, he’s a starfish, gone bad
Shouting in the street, gonna eat the whole world someday
You got blood on your face
Just a small taste
For when Evil Patrixxx comes to eat your brains
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
(FEAR IT!)
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
Buddy you’re a dead man, stone man
Pleadin’ that Evil Patrixxx gonna spare you today
He’s aiming for your face
A brain-dead waste
Now Evil Patrixxx will put you into your place
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU
I WILL, I WILL EAT YOU!
(EVERYBODY!)
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU
HE WILL, HE WILL EAT YOU!
(RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!)"